Dream Log

My dad came up to visit and I guess my mom had found an old dream log that I had made way back when. I read some of it, and it's pretty interesting even though now I have little to no recollection of those dreams. Now, I don't write them down in a journal anymore, but maybe I should start again... Anyway, here's one in the interim that I want to remember. It was kind of trippy, but I liked it.

I had a dream last night that I was at some kind of entertainment center, kind of like a carnival or fair or something of the sort. Within this center, there were many different areas, very similar to a school, with private classrooms that people were just hanging out in or taking naps in. There was a courtyard, or actually multiple courtyards where people were talking and sitting/standing around in. It seemed crowded and each section of this center could only be accessed at certain times, which made it a good idea to stay in one section for a long time, for fear of not being able to get back there anytime soon. Of course, some areas were harder to get into than others, as the gates would only open at a certain time and then they would close at another (I think one gate was set to close at sunset). At one point, I sat and talked to these two guys. One was an asian man, who was a little older and one was a small man. I don't remember what we talked about, but I do remember being with friends/family members and them also talking to these 2 guys and being slightly entertained, as those 2 were a little loopy. I then remember taking a nap with someone in my family in a private room. I woke up and saw a bunch of pictures and drawings and construction paper with writing on them. I saw one with my name next to it and said 'hey look! it's me!' I kept looking around and realized that there were actually quite a few with my name on them or next to them. I saw a picture of a woman I didn't know who looked horrible, black eye makeup smeared and frazzled hair, with the words "RAPE 1992" (or was it 1993?) and I realized I knew what happened. I realized that the room was haunted but didn't really seem to be scared of that. Somehow I think the asian guy knew what happened to, but at that point I woke up...
~~~

In other news, I feel like things are changing quickly but slowly at the same time. Byron and Doris are officially done with their college taiko careers, which kind of disconnects me more from the group. I don't feel like I can go to practices anymore without feeling a little awkward, especially after they choose newbies for the year. Yes, there are still others I am very close with still in the group, but I feel like it's time to finally move on. I've also been doing a lot of traveling, especially on the weekends, enjoying the summer weather. Life's been a lot of movement, travel, new things, old but dear things, and lots of fun things.

Work, on the other hand, is the same day after day, with very few changes. This has kind of made me very comfortable in this environment and I've had to really dig deep to get that motivation to come back to me, to find changes everyday and to do something different than in the past. This stagnant feeling isn't necessarily bad though, I've just become accustomed to it in a way. I'm ok with how things are now. We'll see what happens in the future...

The Need for Smart Phones

When I went to Japan, there was a plethera of awesome smartphones - in fact, the entirety of Japan has phones all with similar functionalities and it was even more amazing because although the phones were made by different manufacturers or had a few different functions or designs, they were all meant to work together and interact with each other. For example, they all had infrared capabilities, where you could transfer entire profiles with numbers and all by clicking a button and putting the devices near each other. This was so much different than the US, where all the manufacturers try to outdo eachother, adding functionalities only for the individual, but not so much with the entirety of society.

When I came back to the US, about 2 years ago now, I was sad about the fact that our phones don't do nearly as much as theirs can, with the exception of Blackberry, but that even wasn't very widely used -- it was more for business professionals who need to be connected at all times. Today, these Crackberries are more widely used, especially for professionals, but also just by normal people, who just need that connection to the internet 24/7. And, sadly, the US has been overtaken by the iPhone. Though the iPhone does have some very cool functionalities, it still has so much growing to do. It makes me sad that the entire US society is so immersed in this sea of iPhone love when they really don't need that kind of technology right now. I don't believe that it actually does all that much for you. Maybe I'm just not understanding how useful it is because I don't own one, but the most I've seen people do with it is the ability to look up certain random facts while talking at a bar, or use their makeshift GPS system while riding in the car. But I ask myself, do I need something like that? I have my own GPS system that works better than it... I sometimes like the fact that I don't know random facts - it gives me an excuse to talk to someone else about it later or figure out the answer myself which actually helps me remember better. What else is it used for? Apps.. that you have to pay extra for...? I would not like that. If I don't need it 24/7 I wouldn't pay any extra for it, not to mention you have to pay more to be connected to the internet all the time. I can easily come home and use the computer for what I need. You get to watch YouTube all the time?? Who effing cares... I use YouTube as a time filler, and I don't need it all the time. When I'm out of the house, it's usually for a reason. Like seeing real people, face-to-face. And interacting with them. Plus, there's no way in hell I would trade my wonderful Verizon service for AT&T to get things I don't need.

I've been reading some articles recently about technology that they are trying to create on iPhones to unlock cars or use barcodes directly from them to scan things with. Something like that that I could use on BART by placing the phone directly on the entry gate to automatically pay for my ticket, now THAT would be useful. And I don't want to have to pay extra for it (minus actually paying for the ticket...). So far, I'm not impressed with the iPhone, and it seems like a lot of people are buying into the hype just because they want to follow the crowd. The people I have the most respect for have not yet fallen for the craze either, so at least I know I'm not missing out on something that's truly useful, or I feel like the people with sense in the world would all have them. My entire family still uses Verizon. I don't need to be another Apple fangirl. And until they really blow me away, I will reject every app, every fangirl or boy that they throw my way.

Common Thread

It's kind of amazing how some things can always bring people together, whether or not people were complete strangers before or whether they were already close friends. Common interests, hobbies, eating preferences, quirks, friends, values, experiences, etc are all things that could bring people together or push them apart. But some things pull people together and keep them there while some let them go after a short time. And that's just the way things are supposed to be I suppose. There are some people who just will always be in your life, and there are some who fade in and out, and some who fade away all together.

But what happens when one person wants to fade away while the other wants to keep that friendship intact. What happens when a friend disappears completely and suddenly - are you supposed to let that person go? Maybe they were just one of those people that you are supposed to let fade away. Or are you supposed to track them down - let them know that they are not one of those people and that there is something in the world that isn't letting you fall out of each other's lives so easily. How are you supposed to know?

Hunt

I'm so frustrated with life in general at this point - I can't work well with people I don't get along with. It's very hard to put on a happy face all the time when you're not feeling that way at all. I'm falling behind slowly and although I keep up with everyone for the most part, I can feel the work draining my motivation slowly as well. I'm not good with things that are unfair or people that bend the system for their own benefit and throw others under the bus. I need to have something else to do outside of work, like taiko was before... hmmm I must begin the hunt.

Immaturity

It's amazing how immature some people can be.

Someone that is 22 years old acts like my 10 year old cousin. Why must you always cut me off when I'm trying to help you and repeat the same thing 10 times before I walk away, completely annoyed. Isn't it clear that I don't want to help you because you're being that way? The only reason you know half the things you know is because you didn't listen the first time you were told and came to me to find out - or you had the opportunity and common sense to look it up yourself, but weren't willing to do it. How is it that I was able to figure it out on my own but am somehow obligated to give that information to you? I can figure it out - you can figure it out. I would be willing to help you more if you were more respectful to me or stopped calling me "stupid" or "wrong" every 2 seconds, but you reap what you sow. Who says that kind of stuff when you're already out of college? Don't you know how people take it? You're not 10 anymore..

You'll get what's coming to you in the end.

Yes We Can!

Obama/Biden '08

:)

I feel like the world is already a better place. I really feel optimistic for the future of the US.

Life after Graduation

So the time has come where I am now working. I understand what people go through everyday now, all the friends who graduated and go to sleep early every night so they can wake up for work in the morning.

My life has become like the life of a robot: wake up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, watch tv, sleep and do it all over again. I need a hobby. I need to be active.

Work itself isn't all that bad. Make your calls, make appointments, help out your reps, and have fun with your co-workers. Co-workers keep you sane. sometimes. sometimes I guess they're the ones that drive you over the edge, but for the time being, I am counting on them to keep me sane.

At least I have the weekends to myself. :)